Commitment

I have to get to a place where I am living out my dreams daily! How many of us are just making it by? Slothful with our desires. Never reaching inside of ourselves fully to be all that God chose for us to be. We are not here by accident. God has a purpose for us all.

As we may well know I am in want of a husband and family more than any other gift from God. I am reminded of my inability to succeed if God is not at the forefront of all my plans. Matthew 6:33 says, "seek ye FIRST the kingdon of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."

There is a reason He instructed us to seek him first. When I start to whine about the things I want that I do not have or can't see with faith, God reminds me to seek Him first. I am not here for me... this life is not about me. Until I can live my life as it belongs to God and focus all my abilities on His wants, and trust His instruction so much so that I follow his direction everyday - I don't deserve let alone need the things I ask for. This is what my spirit knows.

But my flesh wants to know why?
Q: Why Lord can't I have these things when others all around me have them?
God's Answer: Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Q: Will it ever happen for me?
GA: Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thine ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.

Q: I am not worthy of any of the gifts you've provided me with. I don't deserve to live, let alone to be trusted to lead your people. If you've given me these things of your mercy why can't I have the things I want?
GA: Mark 11:24, What things soever you desire, when you pray believe that you receive them and you shall have them. Philippians 4:6, Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made unto God.

I have come to find that God gave us all the tools we need to be successful on this Earth. We have to practice using our tools until we become experts and we have to use them appropriately and not to hurt or mislead people. Other sources have led me to understand that,

"Until we are committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans, that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occured. A whole stream of events issues from decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforseen incedents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamed would come their way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, BEGIN. Boldness has genius and power in it - Begin now!" - Johann Goethe
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The next 37 days of my life are expected to be life altering. I am reading The Purpose Driven Life, Fasting fast foods and all liquids other than water from my system, turning off rap and hip-hop, and starting new members classes at my church (even though I joined 3 years ago). I am walking in to these next few days with an out-stretched neck and I'm expecting a very specific end. I will be posting my journey and more than any other time ask for your support and guidance and opinions.

I have to keep pushing everyday. With God at the forefront of my mind and the first one I go to with questions, or to talk to when I'm hurt from disbelief or from trusting someone who hurt me, or from fear of failure, etc. God loves me and once I can fully understand that He loves me I move on victoriously!

I love you!
Commit to God! He is committed to you!