I went to an ex-boyfriend's birtday party last night and had a good time. At the end of the night my ego presented itself as a problem. I felt rejected becuase he didn't want to console me even though I made it a continuous priority to ease the pain I know I caused by initiating out break-up.
I went home and was unable to shake the feeling of rejection. I remember receiving a book from one of my mother's prayer partners on overcoming rejection and I tossed it to the side thinking it was irrelevant to my life. All things come full circle. I need to find that book!
I got home late last night and prayed that God would release me from the binding of rejection and competition. I am very clear and sure that I do not want to be in a relationship with this man but knowing he is "pulling on my heart strings" with no real intention on healing our wounds from the past or helping each other move forward is a blow to my ego that I am still learning to defeat.
God answers prayers, I opened my Bible and immediately landed in Ecclesiastes. I don't usually open the Bible to a page and immediately receive an answer but I know that this is something that God wanted to immediately handle.
Ecclesiastes 3:14
I know that whatever God does lasts froever. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. He does it so you know it's of Him (establishing fear of God).
This may not mean to you what it meant for me last night. But during our entire relationship I was concerned with whether or not this was the man I was to grow old with. I definitely wanted it to be but can clearly remember times when God was telling me to move on and I wouldn't. this passage in Ecclesiastes reminds me not to be anxious but to trust that the man that he has ordained for me will be for me explicitly and that bond will last forever. It will be a permanent bond of his will and glory.
I am eager to meet God at His destination for my life.
Showing posts with label trusting God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trusting God. Show all posts
I am exhausted. I'm tired of fighting for what I believe in. I am tired of fighting my students to help them grow. I am tired of not growing the way I think I should grow and physically I am tired of not having the means to treat my body the way it needs to be taken care of it. I'm just tired.
Faith tells us to believe in all the good that God has promised not only us but also our fathers. We are heirs of the throne! Which means we are entitled to all the blessings they were promised and the blessings, they've received.
How do we apply this thought to everyday life? How does this affect my aching body, my sense of fear, and the cloud of doubt that plagues my every move and yearning to grow?
Matthew 11: 28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
God wants us to depend on Him solely. To be so comfortable resting in His Word that nothing else matters. It seems impossible sometimes I know but this weekend I made it a point to relax and think differently about something that was really bothering me. I was trying to catch a 1:30 movie. I was excited about being able to sleep late, do a few chores and then head out to see this movie alone. (I really enjoy going to the movies alone). Well as soon as I stared to pull out of my community one of my neighbors pulls up and says, "you tire is really low." Ugh! I handle it and prepare to go out to the movie and get stuck in 45 minutes worth of traffic. It was already 1:00pm by the time I got downtown and the movie theater was 20 more minutes away. I wanted to scream. The next movie was scheduled to start at 5:30!
God always has a plan. I was able to have dessert and catch up on some well needed chit-chat with a dear friend, and meet another friend at the theater. It was a perfect day and I was appreciative of the chance to commune with my pals.
Sometimes God's plan is not on our schedule even though it needs to be. I know I've said this before but in times of strife (big or small) we need to take a deep breath and go the other route. Realizing that he is the author takes away from our burden and gives us the chance to spend more time getting to know His desire for our lives.
A few scriptures to meditate on for further study:
Exodus 1:12
Galatians 6:2
Luke 11:46
Psalm 145
Faith tells us to believe in all the good that God has promised not only us but also our fathers. We are heirs of the throne! Which means we are entitled to all the blessings they were promised and the blessings, they've received.
How do we apply this thought to everyday life? How does this affect my aching body, my sense of fear, and the cloud of doubt that plagues my every move and yearning to grow?
Matthew 11: 28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
God wants us to depend on Him solely. To be so comfortable resting in His Word that nothing else matters. It seems impossible sometimes I know but this weekend I made it a point to relax and think differently about something that was really bothering me. I was trying to catch a 1:30 movie. I was excited about being able to sleep late, do a few chores and then head out to see this movie alone. (I really enjoy going to the movies alone). Well as soon as I stared to pull out of my community one of my neighbors pulls up and says, "you tire is really low." Ugh! I handle it and prepare to go out to the movie and get stuck in 45 minutes worth of traffic. It was already 1:00pm by the time I got downtown and the movie theater was 20 more minutes away. I wanted to scream. The next movie was scheduled to start at 5:30!
God always has a plan. I was able to have dessert and catch up on some well needed chit-chat with a dear friend, and meet another friend at the theater. It was a perfect day and I was appreciative of the chance to commune with my pals.
Sometimes God's plan is not on our schedule even though it needs to be. I know I've said this before but in times of strife (big or small) we need to take a deep breath and go the other route. Realizing that he is the author takes away from our burden and gives us the chance to spend more time getting to know His desire for our lives.
A few scriptures to meditate on for further study:
Exodus 1:12
Galatians 6:2
Luke 11:46
Psalm 145
I have to get to a place where I am living out my dreams daily! How many of us are just making it by? Slothful with our desires. Never reaching inside of ourselves fully to be all that God chose for us to be. We are not here by accident. God has a purpose for us all.
As we may well know I am in want of a husband and family more than any other gift from God. I am reminded of my inability to succeed if God is not at the forefront of all my plans. Matthew 6:33 says, "seek ye FIRST the kingdon of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."
There is a reason He instructed us to seek him first. When I start to whine about the things I want that I do not have or can't see with faith, God reminds me to seek Him first. I am not here for me... this life is not about me. Until I can live my life as it belongs to God and focus all my abilities on His wants, and trust His instruction so much so that I follow his direction everyday - I don't deserve let alone need the things I ask for. This is what my spirit knows.
But my flesh wants to know why?
Q: Why Lord can't I have these things when others all around me have them?
God's Answer: Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Q: Will it ever happen for me?
GA: Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thine ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.
Q: I am not worthy of any of the gifts you've provided me with. I don't deserve to live, let alone to be trusted to lead your people. If you've given me these things of your mercy why can't I have the things I want?
GA: Mark 11:24, What things soever you desire, when you pray believe that you receive them and you shall have them. Philippians 4:6, Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made unto God.
I have come to find that God gave us all the tools we need to be successful on this Earth. We have to practice using our tools until we become experts and we have to use them appropriately and not to hurt or mislead people. Other sources have led me to understand that,
"Until we are committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans, that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occured. A whole stream of events issues from decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforseen incedents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamed would come their way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, BEGIN. Boldness has genius and power in it - Begin now!" - Johann Goethe
...
The next 37 days of my life are expected to be life altering. I am reading The Purpose Driven Life, Fasting fast foods and all liquids other than water from my system, turning off rap and hip-hop, and starting new members classes at my church (even though I joined 3 years ago). I am walking in to these next few days with an out-stretched neck and I'm expecting a very specific end. I will be posting my journey and more than any other time ask for your support and guidance and opinions.
I have to keep pushing everyday. With God at the forefront of my mind and the first one I go to with questions, or to talk to when I'm hurt from disbelief or from trusting someone who hurt me, or from fear of failure, etc. God loves me and once I can fully understand that He loves me I move on victoriously!
I love you!
Commit to God! He is committed to you!
As we may well know I am in want of a husband and family more than any other gift from God. I am reminded of my inability to succeed if God is not at the forefront of all my plans. Matthew 6:33 says, "seek ye FIRST the kingdon of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."
There is a reason He instructed us to seek him first. When I start to whine about the things I want that I do not have or can't see with faith, God reminds me to seek Him first. I am not here for me... this life is not about me. Until I can live my life as it belongs to God and focus all my abilities on His wants, and trust His instruction so much so that I follow his direction everyday - I don't deserve let alone need the things I ask for. This is what my spirit knows.
But my flesh wants to know why?
Q: Why Lord can't I have these things when others all around me have them?
God's Answer: Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Q: Will it ever happen for me?
GA: Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thine ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.
Q: I am not worthy of any of the gifts you've provided me with. I don't deserve to live, let alone to be trusted to lead your people. If you've given me these things of your mercy why can't I have the things I want?
GA: Mark 11:24, What things soever you desire, when you pray believe that you receive them and you shall have them. Philippians 4:6, Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made unto God.
I have come to find that God gave us all the tools we need to be successful on this Earth. We have to practice using our tools until we become experts and we have to use them appropriately and not to hurt or mislead people. Other sources have led me to understand that,
"Until we are committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans, that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occured. A whole stream of events issues from decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforseen incedents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamed would come their way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, BEGIN. Boldness has genius and power in it - Begin now!" - Johann Goethe
...
The next 37 days of my life are expected to be life altering. I am reading The Purpose Driven Life, Fasting fast foods and all liquids other than water from my system, turning off rap and hip-hop, and starting new members classes at my church (even though I joined 3 years ago). I am walking in to these next few days with an out-stretched neck and I'm expecting a very specific end. I will be posting my journey and more than any other time ask for your support and guidance and opinions.
I have to keep pushing everyday. With God at the forefront of my mind and the first one I go to with questions, or to talk to when I'm hurt from disbelief or from trusting someone who hurt me, or from fear of failure, etc. God loves me and once I can fully understand that He loves me I move on victoriously!
I love you!
Commit to God! He is committed to you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)