I went to an ex-boyfriend's birtday party last night and had a good time. At the end of the night my ego presented itself as a problem. I felt rejected becuase he didn't want to console me even though I made it a continuous priority to ease the pain I know I caused by initiating out break-up.
I went home and was unable to shake the feeling of rejection. I remember receiving a book from one of my mother's prayer partners on overcoming rejection and I tossed it to the side thinking it was irrelevant to my life. All things come full circle. I need to find that book!
I got home late last night and prayed that God would release me from the binding of rejection and competition. I am very clear and sure that I do not want to be in a relationship with this man but knowing he is "pulling on my heart strings" with no real intention on healing our wounds from the past or helping each other move forward is a blow to my ego that I am still learning to defeat.
God answers prayers, I opened my Bible and immediately landed in Ecclesiastes. I don't usually open the Bible to a page and immediately receive an answer but I know that this is something that God wanted to immediately handle.
Ecclesiastes 3:14
I know that whatever God does lasts froever. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. He does it so you know it's of Him (establishing fear of God).
This may not mean to you what it meant for me last night. But during our entire relationship I was concerned with whether or not this was the man I was to grow old with. I definitely wanted it to be but can clearly remember times when God was telling me to move on and I wouldn't. this passage in Ecclesiastes reminds me not to be anxious but to trust that the man that he has ordained for me will be for me explicitly and that bond will last forever. It will be a permanent bond of his will and glory.
I am eager to meet God at His destination for my life.
I am exhausted. I'm tired of fighting for what I believe in. I am tired of fighting my students to help them grow. I am tired of not growing the way I think I should grow and physically I am tired of not having the means to treat my body the way it needs to be taken care of it. I'm just tired.
Faith tells us to believe in all the good that God has promised not only us but also our fathers. We are heirs of the throne! Which means we are entitled to all the blessings they were promised and the blessings, they've received.
How do we apply this thought to everyday life? How does this affect my aching body, my sense of fear, and the cloud of doubt that plagues my every move and yearning to grow?
Matthew 11: 28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
God wants us to depend on Him solely. To be so comfortable resting in His Word that nothing else matters. It seems impossible sometimes I know but this weekend I made it a point to relax and think differently about something that was really bothering me. I was trying to catch a 1:30 movie. I was excited about being able to sleep late, do a few chores and then head out to see this movie alone. (I really enjoy going to the movies alone). Well as soon as I stared to pull out of my community one of my neighbors pulls up and says, "you tire is really low." Ugh! I handle it and prepare to go out to the movie and get stuck in 45 minutes worth of traffic. It was already 1:00pm by the time I got downtown and the movie theater was 20 more minutes away. I wanted to scream. The next movie was scheduled to start at 5:30!
God always has a plan. I was able to have dessert and catch up on some well needed chit-chat with a dear friend, and meet another friend at the theater. It was a perfect day and I was appreciative of the chance to commune with my pals.
Sometimes God's plan is not on our schedule even though it needs to be. I know I've said this before but in times of strife (big or small) we need to take a deep breath and go the other route. Realizing that he is the author takes away from our burden and gives us the chance to spend more time getting to know His desire for our lives.
A few scriptures to meditate on for further study:
Exodus 1:12
Galatians 6:2
Luke 11:46
Psalm 145
Faith tells us to believe in all the good that God has promised not only us but also our fathers. We are heirs of the throne! Which means we are entitled to all the blessings they were promised and the blessings, they've received.
How do we apply this thought to everyday life? How does this affect my aching body, my sense of fear, and the cloud of doubt that plagues my every move and yearning to grow?
Matthew 11: 28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
God wants us to depend on Him solely. To be so comfortable resting in His Word that nothing else matters. It seems impossible sometimes I know but this weekend I made it a point to relax and think differently about something that was really bothering me. I was trying to catch a 1:30 movie. I was excited about being able to sleep late, do a few chores and then head out to see this movie alone. (I really enjoy going to the movies alone). Well as soon as I stared to pull out of my community one of my neighbors pulls up and says, "you tire is really low." Ugh! I handle it and prepare to go out to the movie and get stuck in 45 minutes worth of traffic. It was already 1:00pm by the time I got downtown and the movie theater was 20 more minutes away. I wanted to scream. The next movie was scheduled to start at 5:30!
God always has a plan. I was able to have dessert and catch up on some well needed chit-chat with a dear friend, and meet another friend at the theater. It was a perfect day and I was appreciative of the chance to commune with my pals.
Sometimes God's plan is not on our schedule even though it needs to be. I know I've said this before but in times of strife (big or small) we need to take a deep breath and go the other route. Realizing that he is the author takes away from our burden and gives us the chance to spend more time getting to know His desire for our lives.
A few scriptures to meditate on for further study:
Exodus 1:12
Galatians 6:2
Luke 11:46
Psalm 145
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